Bridget Jones does Christmas

I think it was just a couple weeks ago, Wednesday Dec. 13, when I found out that my in laws were coming here for Christmas! Apparently it was only going to be a small crowd out at their house as their two other children (and their families) were not coming. Since it would just be us, my mother and father and grandmother-in-law there .... my mother-in-law said she and my father-in-law thought they'd offer to come here (they didn't think grandma-in-law would come). They always stay at a local hotel when they come out so there's no housekeeping needed. As my kids have never had a Christmas at home -- and have been begging for one -- this is awesome! Of course, I had a few things to do... Number one was to find the Dining Room table underneath the misc. Halloween decorations...

Luckily I had just gotten the tree the day before. The kids and I found one at a local nursery that was only losing 30 needles per minute. As near as I can tell, Christmas trees bound for sale in Texas are cut in California and Oregon in July. They wrap it in a big plastic bag to send it home with you so the needles don't get all over the place...until you open the bag. We put on ornaments and I let the kids do the usual set up Disney monorail accessories around the tree. As we've never had Christmas here, it has never mattered whether we could walk through the living room or not. This is out equivalent of the train around the Christmas tree that some people do. But....other Christmas decorations? Planning for a real dinner with company? I didn't even own placemats, napkins, a table cloth or table runner, cute towels, nothing. I thought hanging the stockings from the banister would help, until son Oscar complained that they weren't hung from the mantle. Great. So began the quest, amidst finishing up Christmas shopping and mailing packages and listening to Czech language tapes (did I mention we leave for Prague 3 days after Christmas?). I'd already mailed off two rounds of packages, inclusing a load the morning I found out we'd be hosting. Each time the line at the postoffice was just a bit longer. But finding out we wouldn't be with my husband's siblings or grandmother for Christmas meant I needed to mail off their presents. So it was back to the postoffice, Thursday Dec 14, to mail those off. Line was about 10 people deep. Thank goodness for a local authorizxed postal dealer! Each person had slightly complicated mailing to do, but it is so much better than waiting at the real postoffice in downtown McKinney!

First stop for suitable decorations: World Market. I found some cool candlesticks, matched candles, and tried to match a tablecloth or table runner. Ugly, uglier, ugliest. Plus I needed those weights with hooks to hang the stocking from the mantle. No luck on those, nor did I find a wreath hanger for the front door. But I did find a scarf that should (and did) work as a table runner. And found some green napkins that would be OK mixed with the four red napkins I had -- plus simple elegant napkin rings. And thought Hannukah Geld would be cute in some bowl....and put it in a tarnished silver bowl I inherited from my grandmother -- fortunately the tarnish matched the new candlesticks' fake-tarnish patina so I didn't have to polish! Turns out I had a coupon for Linen N' Things right across from World Market. And they had the weights with hooks! On sale! I picked out a set of two 'presents' and four individual reindeer. The coupon got me another 20% off. Done! Back home, set up the dining room table. Wow! Looks awesome! I am totally on a roll!!!!! I hid some knick-knacks in a cupboard to give the house a sleaker, cleaner look. The kids' play room was not going in a good direction, but the rest of the house was coming together! That night (still Thursday) Grady tells me that his grandmother is coming! Despite slightly poor health (at 92!) she doesn't want to miss anything. Then he handed me a packet of xeroxed legal papers that needed to be mailed ASAP. Thanks, honey. Uh oh. I'd already mailed off her presents. Hmmm. Meanwhile, Friday it was back to the postoffice (15 deep) and back to Linens 'N Things for another weight with hook to hold a stocking.

Now it was time to tackle Target. Yeah! A wreath hanger!!!!!! Yeah!!!! Cute stockings for the in laws! So then it was off to Michael's to pick up a framed certificate from Thanksgiving for Alex. But Michaels' said I'd picked it up. What? No. After fifteen minutes of consternation it turned out that somebody had ordered a quick framing-thing-to-be-done and when it was done the staff person grabbed my order sheet instead of that person's for the person to sign. Then my order got logged into the computer as picked up -- but they actually had the certificate so it was OK. The staff person told me she'd tackle my order and get it done ASAP (especially since it was actually due to be finished by then). Whew! See, Thanksgiving week had been its own special nightmare. Not only was there a mix up on the hotel dates (that I was still trying to get a refund for), but I'd gotten a terrible cold, and run across other stress inducing incidents like a winery that was supposed to send us wine -- and did -- but didn't tell us when they sent it -- so the UPS store received it -- didn't tell us either -- has lost the wine -- and we need a refund from them as well. Michael's messing up the framing, well, it was as if the Thanksgiving nightmare would never end! But back to Christmas... Hung the stockings from the hooks, put cute hats on stuffed (and not stuffed) animals to frame the mantle. Got a wreath from the nursery for the front door. It was almost as dry as the tree. But looked and smelled nice and piney. And lead me into dealing with THE YARD. That weekend I tackled the leaves around the yard -- I filled our trash with bags and had leftover bags to stuff in the garage. The leaves were not only all over the lawn, but covering up the bushes -- which, being holly, are nicely red and green. Removing layers of brown leaves meant instant decorations! And I hung some lights near the front door, draped some on the bushes...not bad! A couple poinsettias.... lights on the wreath would make it near perfect -- so I would keep an eye out for those.

post-Xmas so stockings no longer hung with care...

lights!

playroom!

Also needed to go something about the playroom. A solid week of yelling at the kids hadn't gotten all the Lego creations off the floor. Hmmm. Storage needed. We had a futon folded over on a frame about 5 inches off the floor. No storage space underneath it. Back to World Market. Found two media shelves -- each about 20 inches deep, 4 feet long and 2 1/2 feet high. Set them next to each other -- so 40" deep. Set futon on top (folded), put on a cute cover. Shoved all Lego creations underneath and BINGO! A real room again!

Monday Dec 18, Shopping! Went with a friend to tackle various misc. things. Found stocking stuffers, etc. (plus did more daily clutter-hiding and dusting). My parents tell me they have sent something which will come to Grapevine, has it arrived? No one has called to tell me so....

And... Planning Christmas meals. Thought brunch on Christmas Eve would be fun with friends joining us. And needed to plan a Christmas Eve dinner...in-laws already OK'd Cornish Game hens for Christmas Day meal. Yeah! So, called mom who suggested a ham for Christmas Eve dinner -- excellent! Ham is easy! And I'd go with my family's favortite, potato stuff, with the ham!

Which meant that Tuesday, garbage day, was completely devoted to being the neighborhood asshole as I loaded up all those leaf bags into other people's trash.... and filled two different neighbors' recycling bins with cut up cardboard that built up from the holiday -- this included boxes from unicycles that Santa thought Alex and I should have. This also meant that unicycles needed assembling while kids were at school for the last few days before Christmas vacation. Sometimes Santa doesn't think about that sort of thing ahead of time.

But, I also got two independent suggestions to get a ham at a local ham store known for great quality! Called them to reserve a ham. They don't reserve hams, but I could get one the next morning..... And Grapevine calls! Whateveritis has arrived. Try to call, but someone is out at the dock and I forgot to call back.

Wednesday. In search of ham. Found parking. Found the store. Ham would be $40. Did they take Visa? Nope. No plastic. I threw $30 to the clerk and ran to the car for my hidden $20. Returned and finished paying for ham. Clerk said it would have been OK to mail them a check in a few days. ! small town !

I get ahold of the people in Grapevine. Rather than make a 3 hour trip out there to pick this thing up (that the parents say they ordered themselves two of and those have already arrived (????), I can pay $43.23 COD and Grapevine will deliver it friday. Uh OK! Let's do that!

Thursday. Assembled my soon-to-be unicycle. Tested it. Right pedal flew off. OK. Re-attached right pedal digging metal shavings into my left index finger in the process. Re-test. Right pedal flew off. Got out a better wrench. Re-re-attached pedal. Finally got it in all the way. Tested it. No problems. Hid unicycle in closet.

Friday. Kids home for vacation. Time to clean house thoroughly!!!!!! Food shopping -- looking for the hash browns Mom gets in CA for the potato stuff..no luck at Kroger!!!! More food shopping since forgot some things. And waiting for whateveritis. BIg truck arrives about 3. Totally empty except for a, HUH! HDTV! ! Wow! Look kids! Wow! Get it out of enourmous box -- oh good, more cardboard to rip apart. Hook it up! It looks....horrible. Dreadful. What a disappointment. It looks so much worse than the TV we had had there. Grady asks if we can sell it on eBay.

Maybe if we had an HD DVD player...and an HD DVD to try out on it...? So I head to Best Buy. Big pre-Christmas zoo, but I managed to wrangle a friendly employee who tells me they are out of HD DVD players...he looks it up on computer, nearest player is in Tyler (4 hour drive). Available locally maybe in two months. Goodie. I ask if the HD DVD players will have the enhancement-for-HDTV feature I see advertised on DVD players they do have. Yes. So no point in buying an enhanced player and later an HD player. Nope. OK. I'm stuck...? But, friendly employee asks if I have aprogressive scan DVD player -- sounds familiar. If so, replace the 3 input patch cable with the 5 input monster cable-- it made his DVD player work much better. Thank goodness for my techie background! 3 inputs = 2 audio (marked red and black) + 1 video (marked yellow). 5 = 2 audio (marked red and black) + 3 video (mareked Red, Green, and Blue since they carry the Red, Green, and Blue signals separately -- bigger bandwidth!). Uh, OK. I buy cables.

While near Best Buy, I check with Michael's. The clerk never did phone back about the certificate framing.... and no wonder, apparently back when my order slip was signed out by someone else, the order was cancelled automatically-- so my custom frame and mat were never made. Grrrrrr. And last week's clerk should have re-ordered them. But she didn't. So this week's clerk re-ordered them in front of me and gave me a copy of the re-order. It will be ready sometime in January. Sigh.

Back home with the new cables....DVD player plays better....but doesn't look great. Cable TV still looks awful. Maybe I need to upgrade? Call cable people and find out I need a converter box for the DVD signal. Ah. And it will also need the magic 5 cables. Ah. And I can get a converter box anytime they are open-- which they are for another hour...or in the morning at 8am. Sigh. That night we have two TV next to each other... one set for TV, one for DVDs. Grady played JARHEAD...it looked alot better than the DVD I'd used earlier in the day (SIXTEEN CANDLES). Ah, perhaps that was part of the problem! A fuzzy DVD! Makes sense. MR. MOM is a DVD that needs remastering!

Saturday. Drove to cable people at 8am to get DVD converter box (was told the line the previous day was out the door, but only 3 people in line when I got there). Got box. Went food shopping at AMrket Street on the way home since still forgetting things and still needing hash browns. They don't have the right kind, but I find some that may be OK. Back at home, hooked up converter. Hmmm. Not much better. Called cable people...they needed to send signal to box...and did. OK, now TV looks alot better! Called friends to come take old TV.

In-laws arrive. House looks great! Even hid dishrack and other sink items so kitchen looks great. Hung cute Christmas towels (from Target!) in bathroom. We had to have Mexican takeout as I was too exhausted to plan a meal that night, too. We ended up putting on SOUND OF MUSIC and wer pretty good for about an hour before Grandma-in-law pointed out that CHristopher Plummer had a deep snot trail (indentation under nose). Then we had to start making MST3K comments:

      Captain (hearing his children singing in background): What is that?
      Grady (after two beers): The theme song!

Christmas Eve: Having friends and in-laws for brunch. Got regular coffee going. Got decaf going (in a small coffee maker I picked up a couple days before). Made fruit salad while starting on Mickey Mouse waffles. Or trying to make Mickey MOuse waffles. First waffle was overcooked. Ok. It always takes a few. Second waffle pulled apart when I opened the waffle iron. Hmmm. Carefully clean out the iron. Carefully grease the iron. Waffle pulls apart. ? ? ? Try again. Same problem. ? ? ? USually by now the waffles are rolling! Grady saves the day and makes pancakes.

Meanwhile the muffins were fine, friends brought Cheese Strata (sp?) which is a marvelous egg thing. I had a whole syrup station set up with maple syrup, regular syrup, lite syrup, powdered sugar, strawberries, blackberries, raspberries, and blueberries all set up. Yummy!

Friends left. Oscar and I head back to the store since I forgot more things. Need to kill some time as you can't buy beer before noon on Sundays, and it was only 11:40am.

A little later we opened presents. In-laws headed to hotel for a nap.

I called Mom a few hours later, "Do the knives go on the right or on the left?" After getting the place settings straight I should have asked her how to re-heat the ham. First mistake.

So,aiming for 6:30 for dinner, I put the broccoli on to steam at 5:50pm. Mistake #2. Didn't know when to mess with ham nor what temp. When In-laws arrived about 6:10, I asked MIL for ham help. She looked stunned that I hadn't started heating it already. Uh oh. Quickly try to heat ham. Assemble and cook the potato stuff despite the weird hashbrowns. Mistake #3.

Dinner. Table looks great despite not remembering to buy polish to polish my silver (inherited from my grandmother who had put a triple M pattern on it--perfect for me!

But the food....the ham was warm...but not warm enough. The broccoli was overcooked badly. UG! The salad was OK but it was just salad from a bag mixed with the dressing, croutons and cheese that come with it. And the potato stuff came out OK. Not great. It is supposed to be GREAT. Amazing! But it was only OK. The In-laws were very polite, but dinner sucked!. Sigh.

Grady and I consoled ourselves by watching BAD SANTA once they headed back to their hotel (Kids too busy with their new (and first!) GameBoys to notice the movie sounds).

Christmas: After a rough start, where Grady tracked in something on his shoes (from walking the dog) and I had to clean the carpet every 2 1/2 feet....it was a Christmas Miracle! The food actually worked for Christmas Dinner (at lunchtime)! I made the Cornish Game Hens -- and they were great. The Ore Ida mash potatos heated nicely... the green beans were barely overcooked and the berry salad (berries in yogurt) was a hit!

And within an hour we found out we were freezing my mother-in-law and grandmother-in-law in our horrible cold house....which I am not sure grandmother-in-law will forgive us for. Ug!